Friday, March 21, 2014

Runner's Are Annoying

It's true.  Guilty as charged.

Chances are you have crossed paths with a runner.  Spouse, child, sibling, co-worker, friend, neighbor, etc...  They are everywhere!!!

We are a quirky bunch.  Even Google thinks so.

Douchebag...Bahaha!  That's funny right there.

Being the runner in my household, I know first hand of all the annoying stuff we do.  Hopefully my fellow runners can take this in stride and laugh along right with me.  Because you know it's true. This is vindication for all the people who put up with us.

I've compiled a list of some of our major offenses...

  • We like to talk about running.  ALL the time.  Somehow we will fit in a running sentence into any conversation.  Examples - 
Normal Person -  "I can't wait for Summer."
Runner - "I know!  I hate running when it is dark and cold in the morning."

Normal Person - "We had taco's for dinner last night."
Runner - "Taco's are so good!  When I eat them though, I have to 
wait at least 3 hours before I run or I get the trots...if ya know what I mean."

Normal Person - "I have so much laundry to do."
Runner - "I hear ya.  I finally just started showering in my running clothes to 
wash them so I don't run out."

  • We like to flood social media with status updates of our time, distance, pace, elevation, and feelings about our last run.  It helps to have a picture of a techie watch and your sweaty afterglow to prove your awesomeness.  Then you can post it to Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, Google+, dailymile, Map my Run,  etc...       
Runner's prefer to do it to ALL of the above.

Proof - Healthy Intuition is on Instagram and Pinterest.  Here's is my latest watch shot
 "Garmin plus happy shadow."
You can also find Kiesha and Sheena on Dailymile

  • We find it a must to take pictures of our shoes and discuss why we love each pair.  One for long distance, one for speed, one for trails, and two pairs to rotate during our training runs so we can allow the other to "rest".  We also know the best way to tie shoe laces.  Insert geekiness...

  • We display window decals just to make sure everyone around us knows we run.
A featured sticker from my BMW (Big Mormon Wagon).  Yes I need a car wash.
 Yes I'll probably just wait for it to rain. 

  • We think everyone likes to hear about our current ailments.  i.e.  Shin splints, black toenails, IT band syndrome, stress fractures, knee pain etc...  But we refuse to stop running.
  • We forfeit anything that might get in the way of our "long run".
or
or just plain insert "I've got a long run in the morning" after any pretense to 
let you know we have a long run in the morning.
Borrowed from NotBeforeMyTea

  • We show up to events with nasty sweaty hair but tell everyone not to worry, we've taken a "wipe bath".  (Did this last Saturday.  Sorry to everyone sitting next to me at the local school's Aladdin play)
  • We wear running attire when we have no immediate plans to run.  But we look cool right?
  • We subscribe to magazines and keep them in our bags, car, coffee table, or work places in case we need a fix.  
    A snippet from my newest Runner's World mag.  that pertains to above mentioned running decals.   Proof that I'm only half crazy.

  • We have no problem doing a fartlek in public.
  • We think everyone wants to hear/see our latest mantra.
  • We like to use words like "speed work", "intervals", and "hill repeats" so we sound hard core.
  • And finally - we constantly like to recruit other people to join our cult.  

I obviously have no problem making fun of myself and I hope I haven't offended anyone.  This is all written in love.  When you have found a passion or have found joy in doing something, of course you want to share it with the world.  In the word's of an overused saying; 

Keep Calm and Carry On. 
I know I will!







2 comments:

  1. Great article! Laughed and laughed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thx! I even snickered and snorted while writing it.

      Delete

 

Disclaimer

We provide the material in this blog for informational purposes only. We do not prescribe and we do not diagnose. If you use the information in this blog without the approval of a health professional, you prescribe for yourself, which remains your constitutional right, but the authors assume no responsibility. The authors shall have neither liability or responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any damage, loss, or injury caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly by the information contained in this blog. The information presented herein is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling. Anyone suffering from any disease, illness, or injury should consult a qualified health care professional. The statements made in this blog have not been evaluated by the FDA.